Finished in 5 bites.

Caster, Former, Carbonator, Stupor, Metadapt, Sorbet, Trawler, and Authmend:
Loafer only, Restores 1 HP every bite.

No one seems to dislike this.

Takes 30 seconds to chew, and reduces speed and accuracy by 10% while chewing. After 30 seconds, has a 66% to make the consumer Metal.